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작성자  simonshin 작성일  2016.10.06 14:58 조회수 1122 추천 0
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 신현근 박사 강의안 – 내담자에게 자극을 주기  
첨부파일 : f1_20161006145823.pdf
 

과목:  Formation of a Professional Life Coach

주제:  Stretching the client

강사: 신현근 박사

내용: 강의안 내담자에게 자극을 주기

교재Williams, P. & Menendez, D. S. (2015). Becoming a Professional Life Coach: Lessons from the Institute for Life Coach Training (2nd Ed.). New York and London: W. W. Norton & Company.

 

1           Introduction

1.1          Standing for is an example of a coaching skill that, in the moment, provides a clear challenge to the clients’ current way of thinking.

1.2          A great dictionary definition for challenge comes from the American Heritage Dictionary: “To summon to action, effort or use; to stimulate.”

1.3          At our best as coaches, we challenge the clients by using our language and ourselves to stimulate the clients to achieve their best and to summon them to act in new ways.

1.4          Let’s consider challenging and stretching and their location in the coaching continuum (Ellis, 1998).

 

2           THE COACHING CONTINUUM

2.1          Listen Fully and Affirm

2.1.1     This is full, heartfelt, and soulful listening with great empathy and heart.

2.1.2     Soulful listening invites the clients to bring to awareness what they know, think, sense, and feel.

2.1.3     After a time, clients reveal their most intimate thoughts.

2.1.4     In some spiritual practices, this is called the inquiry.

2.1.5     You stay fully present and silent while the clients speak for an extended period of time, 5 to 15 minutes.

2.1.6     Then you share what you are noticing, thinking, and feeling.

2.2          Listen Fully and Feed Back the Problem

2.2.1     At this level of listening, you listen fully and soulfully for a time, affirm the clients, and then feed back the issues to them.

2.2.2     You summarize briefly the essence of what you hear as the focus for the clients— the key issues to coach.

2.3           Ask the Clients to Generate a Few New Possibilities                

2.3.1     You begin to be directive.

2.3.2     You listen, feed back what you hear, ask questions, and specifically ask the clients to identify several new possibilities for attention and action.

2.3.3     At this level on the coaching continuum, you might ask, “What are two possible new ways to overcome these obstacles?

2.3.4     Often the clients do have an idea or two but haven’t been challenged to identify any alternatives themselves.

2.3.5     Your question affirms to clients that they are likely to have some ideas to offer.

2.4           Ask the Clients to Generate Many Possibilities

2.4.1     You listen, affirm, mirror, and feed back, but this time you focus on stretching the clients to generate many, many possibilities. Ask for several, maybe even as many as 10 or 12, possibilities that will address the clients’ issues or concerns.

2.4.2     If a dozen options seem too easy to generate, ask for more.

2.4.3     The point is to act as a guide for your clients and to stretch them to move outside their comfort zone.

2.4.4     The important thing is to get the client to stretch beyond the obvious— beyond the thoughts that he generates readily.

2.5          Add Your Input to the Clients’ List of Possibilities

2.5.1     At this place in the coaching continuum, you join the clients in brainstorming, adding suggestions to their list of possibilities.

2.5.2     You and the clients brainstorm back and forth, with you adding some of your best thinking in the moment without an intention to take over for the clients

2.5.3     You need to work hard at letting the clients know that these are just additions to the list— they are not necessarily better ideas than those the clients have generated.

2.5.4     Your perspective as an outsider does mean that you are likely to see possibilities outside of the clients’ blind spots or current perspective.

2.5.5     In a sense, your possibilities may reframe or expand the clients’ view of the situation.

2.5.6      You may be of service to the clients at this level if their creativity seems low or if they feel stuck.

2.5.7     Sometimes a coach needs to jump-start clients’ thinking, although we believe it is usually best for the client to offer the first several ideas.

2.6          Present at Least 10 Possibilities (Some Contradictory)

2.6.1     You are more directive at this point in the continuum, placing yourself in charge of identifying and creating possibilities for the clients.

2.6.2     You may stretch the clients by including possibilities that are far outside the realm of their comfort zone.

2.6.3     You may think that presenting 10 possibilities seems like a lot, but it isimportant to offer contradictory possibilities so that the clients must choose between very different arenas of action.

2.6.4     Be sure to make some of them practical and doable.

2.6.5     Clients may seize upon your ideas to springboard their own creativity when you use this strategy.

2.7          Present at Least Three Possibilities

2.7.1     At this level you offer three possibilities of equal value.

2.7.2     We call this level a directive action because you are essentially limiting the clients’ choices.

2.7.3     Be sure that when they hear the possibilities, the clients do not hear them as advice.

2.7.4     Take time to work through the benefits and consequences of each one so that the clients can fully consider them.

2.8          Teach a New Technique

2.8.1     You are directing when you are teaching.

2.8.2     However, there are times when clients need to learn something new or request that you teach something new so that they can move beyond where they are now.

2.8.3     You might find yourself teaching a relaxation strategy, for example, or a method of preparing to resolve conflict, or time management skills.

2.9          Offer an Option

2.9.1     This situation is even more directive because you are offering only one option for the clients to consider.

2.9.2     If the option is on target or if it acts as a reframing strategy, it can be effective in getting the clients out of their current situation.

2.9.3     Offering an outrageous option can help the clients focus.

2.9.4     It may also bring lightness into the conversation, which helps the clients reframe the situation and bring more creativity to it.

2.10       Give Advice or Give the Answer

2.10.1 At this level, the most direction oriented in the coaching continuum, you are probably not coaching.

2.10.1.1Giving advice or giving the answer is more the province of consulting.

2.10.1.2If you do find yourself giving advice, be sure to label it as such.

2.10.2 On the other hand, a very direct telling the truth as you see it may be needed.

2.10.2.1Remember the 5-step coaching model (pages 22– 25), where you say what is so.

2.10.2.2This provocative intervention can be useful when the client is trapped in confusion, when resistance or fear is entrenched, when the game is destructive and repetitive, or when it is time to end what seems like self-destructive sabotage.

2.10.2.3These client interventions can involve phrases such as “I can’t support you selling out in that way. I believe you are strong enough. You know you are strong enough. Just do it.”

 

3           CLIENTS STRETCH TO MEET CHALLENGES

3.1          Masterful coaching involves times when you must challenge your clients in supportive and encouraging ways rather than simply listening.

3.1.1     Your goal is to offer a challenge that helps your clients stretch and grow.

3.2          Challenging is stronger than just “wanting for” or making a small request.

3.2.1     It is straightforward, but it is never disrespectful.

3.2.2     A strong request for a big change might appear to clients as a challenge.

3.3          Making a huge request or a challenging call for evidence of progress may activate the clients to make a huge shift or a leap forward.

3.3.1     This kind of challenge communicates to the clients that you are confident they are capable of taking on such a big challenge.

3.3.2     They may succeed because they begin to share your belief in their possibility and promise.

3.3.3     Challenging clients, which takes courage, it is another way of standing for them.

 

4           MANY WAYS TO CHALLENGE

4.1          Coaches productively challenge clients in many ways.

4.2          Common ways to challenge include:

4.2.1     • Make huge requests.

4.2.2     • Double the goal.

4.2.3     Reduce the time to accomplish something.

4.2.4     • Ask the clients to document and provide evidence of progress.

4.2.5     • Measure the clients’ results and establish benchmarks.

4.2.6     • Ask the clients to raise their standards and expectations for themselves or for others.

4.2.7     • Ask the clients to do just the opposite of what they would normally do.

4.2.8     • Ask straight questions that no one else in the clients’ world has the courage to ask.

4.2.9     • Expect a great deal from the clients— perhaps more than they expect of themselves.

4.2.10 • Ask for fieldwork and practices to keep the clients focused.

4.2.11 • Maintain high standards and be rigorous about examining the clients’ accomplishments and actions.

4.2.12 • Be patient and press the clients to consider the truth, not just the first answer that may come to mind.

4.2.13 • Be diligent about asking the clients to commit to their promises.

4.2.14 • Consistently help clients draw distinctions (introduced below). Encourage clients to make big shifts and to grow in perspective, approach, attitude, mind-set, patience, and so on.

4.2.15 • Ask the clients to only live their life purpose (see Chapter 7) for the next period of time.

4.2.16 • Ask the clients to begin a new discipline or practice that requires reflection, such as keeping a journal or beginning a meditation practice.

 

5           SKILLS FOR CHALLENGING AND STRETCHING THE CLIENT

5.1          Use Distinctions

5.1.1     We began this chapter by consider the coaching continuum.

5.1.1.1    Most of the time, we remain nondirective and we use our listening, mirroring, and questioning skills to forward the action.

5.1.1.2    At times, however, the clients’ situation will not move forward on its own because clients are thinking in a habitual way that isn’t helpful and empowering.

5.1.1.2.1   In Chapter 15, we explore more extensively this issue of how clients’ mind-sets affect them and the coaching relationship.

5.1.1.2.2   At these times, the best approach is for you to first offer a concise, clear statement of how you see the clients’ situation.

5.1.1.2.3   This statement uses clean language, is direct, and is an empowering and potent way of looking at the situation.

5.1.1.2.4   Then you offer a distinction that holds the key to a new way of thinking or action.

5.1.1.2.5   If the clients can incorporate this distinction, they might be able to shift the situation to a more desired outcome.

5.1.1.2.6    Offering a distinction is a part of the coaching process, not a magic bullet.

5.1.2     The ability to name something, to put it into words, gives human beings the ability to choose, create, modify, and grow.

5.1.3     When you use distinctions, you intervene directly in the clients’ learning and awareness.

5.1.3.1     Your intention in using distinctions is to offer the clients a chance to see something about the situation that has not been visible to them.

5.1.3.2    The value of a distinction comes from the new avenues for acting and becoming that it makes possible.

5.1.4     A distinction allows the clients to consider making a shift in thinking and noticing.

5.1.4.1    A shift is a cognitive, emotional, or behavioral movement from one state to another.

5.1.5     The following examples of distinctions have the potential to support clients in making a shift:

5.1.5.1    • Unconscious incompetence versus conscious incompetence

5.1.5.2    • A goal versus a pipe dream

5.1.5.3    • Just being competent versus achieving mastery

5.1.5.4    • Having to be right all the time versus allowing others to be right as well

 

5.2          Use Metaphors and Analogies

5.2.1     Metaphors and analogies are powerful tools for two reasons.

5.2.1.1    First, a metaphor offers the clients a new perspective on an issue.

5.2.1.2    Second, the perspective rapidly becomes potent because it links with preexisting thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that the clients have already internalized.

5.2.1.3    Consequently, metaphors and analogies work quickly and naturally to change thinking because they work holistically, bypassing linear, analytic explanations and client resistance.

5.2.2     The use of metaphors has proved extremely powerful in many professions— mediation, therapy, consulting, and now coaching.

5.2.2.1    Coaches use common metaphors to direct clients’ attention to aspects of their situation and possibilities not yet considered.

5.2.3     An effective metaphor in coaching needs to meet two requirements.

5.2.3.1    First, the clients must be familiar enough with the metaphor that they don’t need to ask questions about how it applies to the situation at hand.

5.2.3.2    Second, the metaphor should create the intended emotional effect on the clients and be carefully chosen for the situation the clients face.

5.2.4     Metaphors and analogies deepen the clients’ intuitive understanding of issues and encourage deep exploration. Select metaphors that match the clients; create metaphors out of stories you tell, drawn from your own life.

5.3          Make Big Requests

5.3.1     Fernando Flores developed one of the most useful coaching tools— making requests— through his exploration of how language really brings action into being (Budd & Rothstein, 2000).

5.3.2     An empowering way to engage clients in the exploration to discover a new approach to a problem is to make a request.

5.3.2.1    Coaches request a very specific action or choice from the clients— and most often uses the word request in the statement.

5.3.2.2    The request is not complete until the specific behavior or action is identified, until both clients and coaches understand the time expectations for when the request will be completed, and until both clearly agree on what constitutes a successful accomplishment of the request.

5.3.3     A request is not an invitation, although it may seem like one because the clients are free to respond to it.

5.3.3.1    It is also not a suggestion or a piece of advice.

5.3.3.2    It does convey a sense of urgency because the clients must respond to a request right away.

5.3.3.3    The clients can accept it, turn it down, change it, or suggest an alternative.

5.3.3.4    No matter what the clients do, a request leads to some action— even if it gets changed in the process.

5.4          Identify and Name Contradictions and Inconsistencies

5.4.1     Sometimes clients contradict themselves from session to session.

5.4.2     Your obligation is to point it out to the client so that he clearly sees the inconsistency.

5.4.3     Inconsistencies abound in all of our lives.

5.4.3.1    Look for opportunities to point them out to clients when they really add value to the coaching.

5.4.3.2    Over time the clients can learn to detect them themselves and can become self-correcting.

5.4.3.3    When inconsistencies surface, coaches spend the time to explore how they came about.

5.5          Use the Compassionate Edge

5.5.1     Master coaches get faster and more powerful results because of their willingness to use the compassionate edge— to send a message to the clients with laserlike truth and brevity that gets right to the heart of the matter.

5.5.1.1    The compassionate edge provides a very direct challenge to the clients because it is put into words and is part of the conversation.

5.5.1.2    This challenge comes from the desire to help the clients avoid mediocrity, while simultaneously maintaining a compassionate and empathic stand toward the clients.

5.5.1.3    This combination of qualities can move clients to a deeper acknowledgment of truths and an accelerated ability to take action on their own behalf.

5.5.2     Mastery of the compassionate edge has benefits for coaches, too.

5.5.2.1    Once you become skilled at it, you may find that you will attract high-powered clients who expect the edge.

5.5.2.2    They are not just learning the skills; they are high achievers who want to do what it takes to “go for the gold.”

6           Conclusion

6.1          The focus of this chapter has been about maintaining a fierce commitment to the clients’ goals as well as compassion for their journey.

6.2          We believe there is power in taking it to the mat with clients in order to overcome obstacles.

 
 
 
 
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