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작성자  simonshin 작성일  2016.10.27 09:55 조회수 899 추천 0
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 신현근 박사 강의안: 진로를 가로막는 장애물  
첨부파일 : f1_20161027095520.pdf
 

과목:  Formation of a Professional Life Coach

주제:  WHAT GETS IN YOUR WAY

강사: 신현근 박사

내용: 강의안

교재Williams, P. & Menendez, D. S. (2015). Becoming a Professional Life Coach: Lessons from the Institute for Life Coach Training (2nd Ed.). New York and London: W. W. Norton & Company.

 

1.       TYPICAL BLOCKS

1.1.    Energy drainers: psychic vampires (such as clutter) that suck the vitality out of each day

1.2.    Unmet, and sometimes unacknowledged, needs.

1.3.    Fears, which will be explored in Chapter 15.

 

2.       ENERGY DRAINERS

2.1.    Categories

2.1.1.Category 1. The Little Annoyances— Life’s “Gnats”

2.1.1.1.              These are the small things in life that we handle.

2.1.1.2.              We usually just brush them off, as we do gnats at a picnic.

2.1.1.3.              We ignore them, unaware that these annoyances tax our attention and energy.

2.1.2.Category 2. The Big or Chronic Complaints— Life’s Sufferings

2.1.2.1.              These issues create tension and crowd us.

2.1.2.2.              We are conscious of how they diminish the quality of our life.

2.1.2.3.              We probably just accept them as normal because we don’t know how to effectively handle them.

2.2.    Coping steps to control energy drainers

2.2.1.Step 1. Sit down and identify your personal gnats and sufferings.

2.2.1.1.              List as many as you can right now.

2.2.1.2.              Most people’s gnats and sufferings come in the areas of work, family, home/ environment, and community.

2.2.1.3.              Start with these, or return to your life design chart for help.

2.2.2.Step 2. Count the cost.

2.2.2.1.              Anything you tolerate has a cost.

2.2.2.1.1.                    It may cost you time, inconvenience, or frustration.

2.2.2.1.2.                    The cost may be your own or others’ disappointments, or it may be a loss of well-being and vitality.

2.2.2.1.3.                    Identify what each gnat and suffering costs you.

2.2.2.2.              Some people acquire energy from suffering and from enduring difficult circumstances.

2.2.2.2.1.                    Feeling like a martyr energizes them— handling heavy loads, feeling oppressed, sacrificing for others.

2.2.2.2.2.                    Sometimes it even makes them feel heroic to manage suffering and to be miserable.

2.2.2.2.3.                    There are better ways to live life— ways that are much more nourishing for both the martyrs and the people in their lives, but these ways are invisible until people stop putting energy into the gnats and sufferings, and start making space for more nourishing activities.

2.2.3.Step 3. Do something about each gnat and suffering if the cost is not worth it to you.

2.2.3.1.              Find a strategy for eliminating them.

2.2.3.1.1.                    Create a plan for eliminating each one completely by handling them yourself.

2.2.3.1.2.                    That might mean spending a Saturday cleaning up the garage, organizing a garage sale and discarding unsold items, setting a realistic completion date for your brochure and marking it on your calendar, deciding to delegate, or hiring a graphic designer or a writer to complete your brochure.

2.2.3.2.               Allow the gnats and sufferings to disappear on their own.

2.2.3.2.1.                    Once you decide not to have them in your life, some gnats and sufferings will just naturally disappear.

2.2.3.2.2.                    They seem to realize that their time is over and just take care of themselves without any effort on your part.

2.2.3.2.3.                    These times are a great illustration of the power of intention.

2.2.3.3.              Neutralize them.

2.2.3.3.1.                    In order to do this, you look for a compromise— a short-term solution that will take the emotional charge out of the situation.

2.2.3.3.2.                    Acknowledge that you cannot do everything at once, and get real about your expectations.

2.2.3.3.3.                    Establishing a realistic date for completing your brochure, for example, will take the sting out of it hanging over your head.

2.2.3.4.               Convert gnats and sufferings into learning opportunities or gratitudes.

2.2.3.4.1.                    Some things, such as your 83-year-old mother who is in decline, may be unchangeable facts in your life.

2.2.3.4.2.                    What you can change is how you respond to these situations.

2.2.3.4.3.                    This situation is an opportunity to coach clients to respond (to take time to examine choices), as opposed to react with a habitual, instantaneous emotion or action.

2.3.    Energy Drainers Worksheet and Energy Gainers List

 

3.       IDENTIFYING NEEDS

3.1.    Needs versus neediness

3.1.1.In most of the modern world, and definitely in the United States, we have collapsed any real distinctions between having needs and being needy.

3.1.2.Needs are a normal and natural part of human existence.

3.1.2.1.              The trouble comes when we don’t acknowledge that our needs exist.

3.1.2.2.              When we believe that it is not okay to have needs— when we are so embarrassed about our needs that we deny that they even exist— we drive our needs underground, where they gain power and begin to run our life.

3.2.    Maslow’s Hierarchy: A Classic View of Needs

3.2.1.Most of us grew up afraid of being labeled needy.

3.2.2.American psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed that every human being has a hierarchy of needs, ranging from security to self-actualization.

3.2.3.Some years after he developed his original hierarchy, Maslow added several levels to it.

3.2.3.1.              He added transcendence as the top level, in 1971, and in 1988 he added aesthetic needs and the need to know and understand, as precedents for self-actualization.

3.2.3.2.              Maslow defined the aesthetic need as the need for symmetry, order, and beauty; self-actualization as the need to find self-fulfillment and realize one’s potential; and transcendence as the need to help others find self-fulfillment and realize their potential.

3.2.3.3.              Maslow believed that as we become more self-actualized and transcendent, we develop wisdom and automatically know what to do in a wide variety of situations.

3.2.3.4.              This is consistent with the research on emotional intelligence, which suggests that emotional intelligence scores rise over the decades as we age.

3.2.3.5.              That information should have made it acceptable to have needs, but most of us learned to pretend that we had it all together.

 

4.       A COACHING VIEW OF WORK

4.1.    The construct of self-actualization developed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in the 1960s and 1970s is a relevant and useful contribution to coaching.

4.2.    Maslow’s approach moved psychologists beyond the disease model when looking at how a person functions.

4.3.    In 1968, Maslow redefined self-actualization as the ability of people to do the following (Jon Bellanti, personal communication, March 10, 2005): to bring their powers together in a particularly efficient and intensively enjoyable way and as a state in which people are more integrated and less split, living more fully in the here and now, more self-supporting, more self-accepting, more open to their experiences, more idiosyncratic, more perfectly expressive and spontaneous or more fully functioning, more creative, more humorous, more ego-transcending, and more independent of their lower needs.

4.3.1.Through self-actualization, people become more capable of activating their own potentialities by becoming more truly and fully aware and accepting of their total person with all their gifts and concerns.

4.3.2.Therefore, self-actualization is not an end point or destination, but rather a manner of traveling.

4.3.3.To become more fully functioning and more fully authentic requires self-actualizing thoughts, visions, awareness, and acceptance not only of who we are but also of who we are becoming.

4.3.4.We are not just humans being— we are also humans becoming, constantly in a state of change.

4.3.5.To the degree to which we are aware of these changes and take responsibility for them, we are freer to become more of who we are capable of becoming.

4.4.    Why is Maslow’s research important to coaching?

4.4.1.Coaches work with mentally and emotionally healthy individuals; we say we work with clients’ gifts, their unique creative windows to the world, and their signature strengths.

4.4.2.Coaches partner with individuals and groups to develop greater awareness, ownership, and actualization of their gifts as they apply them to their wants, objectives, and life goals for their everyday life.

<a>4.4.3.In</a><a class="msocomanchor" id="_anchor_1" href="https://d.docs.live.net/971847ccd4fc3573/Documents/ICC/2016%20III/%EA%B0%95%EC%9D%98%EC%95%88%20%EC%BD%94%EC%B9%AD/10%EC%9E%A5%20%EA%B0%95%EC%9D%98%EC%95%88%20-%20%EC%A7%84%EB%A1%9C%EB%A5%BC%20%EA%B0%80%EB%A1%9C%EB%A7%89%EB%8A%94%20%EC%9E%A5%EC%95%A0%EB%AC%BC.docx#_msocom_1" language="JavaScript" name="_msoanchor_1" target="_blank">[SS1]</a>  this, coaches follow the lead of Maslow and his cohorts.

4.5.    Abraham Maslow was the first to study healthy persons.

4.5.1.His model changed the way we view human beings.

4.5.2.Maslow’s research findings suggested that there are basic biological needs beyond “being” needs— beyond the basic needs for survival, safety, security, love, and belonging.

4.5.2.1.              For example, people placed themselves in risk-taking situations not because there was something sick, he believed, but because there was something sought.

4.5.3.He discovered that individuals had higher-order needs: the needs for self-esteem and esteem from others, as well as self-actualizing needs such as the need to seek truth, goodness, creativity, spontaneity, individuality, and beauty.

4.5.4.Maslow also discovered that when basic needs are fulfilled, individuals move up the hierarchy.

4.5.4.1.              Although they function at all levels of the hierarchy all the time, their primary awareness is at one or two levels.

4.5.5.As coaches listen to a cluster of complaints, we obtain a sense of the level at which clients are primarily functioning at their stage in life.

4.5.5.1.              This information is relevant to our coaching work since our goal is to make a difference in our clients’ lives, and we need to know where they’re currently at before we can know how best to be of service.

4.5.6.Maslow discovered that people who function at higher levels on the need hierarchy are more time-competent and more inner-directed.

4.5.6.1.              He defined time-competent as the ability to live primarily and effectively in the present and to experience the past, present, and future as a continuous whole.

4.5.6.2.              Today is the yesterday of tomorrow.

4.5.6.3.              To the coach, change is always in the present and in planning for the future.

4.5.6.4.              Coaches work with clients’ strengths in the present to design pathways for change that are more consistent with clients’ core values and wants.

4.5.7.Maslow defined inner-directedness as clients’ abilities to rely on their internal gyroscope when making decisions.

4.5.7.1.              The more inner-directed, the more the clients are living a life of responsible awareness.

4.5.7.2.               Being responsible is, in our language, being response-able, possessing the ability to respond and seeing oneself as the author of one’s choices.

4.5.7.3.              Individuals discover that the more response-able they become, the more freedom they possess.

4.5.7.4.              Coaches invite clients to become more proactive to discover the freedom and gifts they have and make use of them to take charge of their lives.

4.5.7.5.              They take charge by making choices that get them what they want in life and that are consistent with the greater good of others.

4.5.8.Self-actualization is a lifelong developmental process that is consistent with the process and goals of coaching.

4.5.8.1.              Since self-actualization requires clients to work with their human needs at various levels of development, coaches need to have a working definition and principles for working with needs.

4.5.9.Definition of need

4.5.9.1.              Needs occur at every level of Maslow’s hierarchy, and when insufficiently met they keep clients from being their best.

4.5.9.2.              Coaches want clients to be working toward being their best.

4.5.10.    Several principles we use when working with needs in coaching

4.5.10.1.          Needs are situational.

4.5.10.1.1.                 They can appear because something in clients’ lives changed, so that suddenly a need is not sufficiently met.

4.5.10.1.2.                 Whenever clients are undergoing any sort of transition, new needs may appear.

4.5.10.2.          When a need is insufficiently met, it drives a person.

4.5.10.2.1.                 When it is sufficiently met, it goes away, drops back into the background of the client’s gestalt.

4.5.10.3.          Needs are different from wants and desires; the latter are desirable but do not exert the driving force that an unmet need can create.

 

5.       EXERCISE

5.1.    Step 1. Acknowledge That We Have Needs

5.2.    Step 2. What Are Your Five Greatest Needs Right Now?

5.2.1.Four major categories of need

5.2.1.1.              1. Needs for security.

5.2.1.1.1.                    For example: safety, protection, stability, information, duty, clarity, certainty, honesty, financial security, order, authenticity, commitment to meet obligations.

5.2.1.2.              Needs for power and influence.

5.2.1.2.1.                    For example: control, wealth, authority, management, morality, dominance, freedom, perfection, visibility, leadership, acknowledgment, praise, recognition, influence.

5.2.1.3.               Needs for achievement or attainment.

5.2.1.3.1.                    For example: to create, accomplish, achieve results, strive for, perform, excel, excellence, attain calmness and peace, be busy, be responsible, succeed, make a contribution, be useful, be of service.

5.2.1.4.              Needs for intimacy, relationship, and connection.

5.2.1.4.1.                    For example: to be listened to, needed, loved, touched, helped, included, cherished, appreciated, connected, central to a group; to collaborate and communicate, be connected with something greater than oneself.

5.3.    Step 3. Discover How Your Needs Are Met and Whether Those Ways Nourish You

5.4.    Step 4. Find Satisfying and Healthy Ways to Meet Each of Your Needs

5.4.1.Our actions are mostly unconscious— autopiloted by expectations based on what we think we want.

5.4.1.1.              Usually a deeper, unexpressed need is present.

5.4.1.2.              Becoming more aware of these underlying needs can help us make better choices and have more satisfying relationships.

5.4.2.Ways that allows you to create a fulfilled life

5.4.2.1.              Examine each need and ask: How can I meet this need easily and without great effort?

5.4.2.1.1.                    Is there another dimension of my life where I can meet this need more easily and fully?

5.4.2.2.              Make a list of at least three ways you can meet each need more easily, without a high cost, and in a more satisfying way during the next 2 to 4 weeks.

5.4.2.2.1.                    Then take action based on your list.

5.4.2.2.2.                    Experiment until you meet your needs— until they are fulfilled.

5.4.2.2.3.                    Eventually, you will be able to remove each need from your list.

 

6.       FULLFUILLING NEEDS IS CRITICAL TO CLIENT

6.1.    Clients cannot live a fulfilled and balanced life while their needs drive them.

6.1.1.Needs obscure the possibility of fully living our purpose and values.

6.2.    Humans function better and live more satisfying lives when our work and our whole life express our core values.

6.2.1.Your clients will gain great benefit from identifying and meeting needs in the key arenas of their lives.

6.2.2.When you support them through this process, you move them forward on the path toward fulfillment and balance.

 

7.       ADDITOANL SUGGESTIONS

7.1.    Needs are something people usually meet by striving to gain something externally or by contrasting current life and desired life.

7.1.1.We learn more about needs by comparing or noticing how well we manage external actions and opinions, which are usually outside of our control.

7.2.    Maslow once said that if a need were at least 60% met, it would set us free, so to speak.

7.2.1.Once this happens, we can put our energies into meeting a higher-order need.

7.2.2.It is at this point that our values begin to draw our attention.

7.3.    Needs tend to drive us until we understand how to drive and direct them.

7.3.1.When we reach this point, we establish ways in our life to meet our needs with less effort and expense.


 
 
 
 
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