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작성자  simonshin 작성일  2016.11.01 20:53 조회수 1354 추천 0
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 12장 발제문 (김사비나 연구원) - WALK THE TALK  
첨부파일 : f1_20161101205329.pdf
 

과목:  Formation of a Professional Life Coach

주제:  WALK THE TALK

지도 교수: 신현근 박사(simonhkshin@gmail.com)

추천 링크: http://club.koreadaily.com/icclifecoach

발제자: 김사비나 연구원 (yhksk52@hotmail.com)

교재Williams, P. & Menendez, D. S. (2015). Becoming a Professional Life Coach: Lessons from the Institute for Life Coach Training (2nd Ed.). New York and London: W. W. Norton & Company.

 WALK THE TALK

 

 

Personal Integrity

 

What is personal integrity? Madelyn Griffith-Haney described someone has personal integrity when what they do, who they are, what they say, what they feel, and what they think all come from same place.

 

Lack of integrity

 

Example 1. Purchase the house with structural problems

        I.            Engineering company said the house had architectural integrity

     II.            Wallpapers of house were covered, hiding cracks and fissures. Also the door was not aligned after spring rain. Seller said that she was not aware of them.

   III.            Two pages from the firm’s report was missing mentioning the issues.

 

Example 2. U.S. Banking –World Com/Enron

        I.            U.S. bank collapses because leaders lost integrity at work

     II.            Cynthia Cooper stood up and reported unethical business practices at World Com

   III.            Sharon Watkins was the whistle blower for Enron’s fraudulent business practices, showcasing her personal integrity

 

Example 3. Leaning Tower of Pisa

        I.            In 1173, the tower was designed to stand upright by the builders, architects, engineers and contractors

     II.            Because of poor planning, the weight of marble on the soft soil started to tilt the tower

   III.            Centuries later, a committee of engineers and scientists removed clay from underneath the tower at certain spots to stabilize the foundation

A.    Bad soil was extracted first

B.     Solid foundation replaced weak soil

C.     Steel cables were added to hug the structure in order to assure it would remain in place

 

Above 3 elements apply to Life Coaching

 

1.     To regain integrity – there may be things we need to extract - habits, people, work, and things o which we are attached,

2.     A process of replacement is needed – create new habits, meet new people, pursue actions that are aligned to our life purposes.

3.     Restrains need to be applied consistently – rules and guidelines, standards.

 

Simple rules for creating personal integrity

 

1.     Don Miguel Ruiz’s four Toltec practices 

                                                        I.            Be impeccable with your words

                                                     II.            Do not take anything personally

                                                   III.            Do not make assumptions

                                                  IV.            Always do your best

2.      Joan Borysenko’s four guiding rules

                                                        I.            Show up

                                                     II.            Pay attention

                                                   III.            Tell the truth

                                                  IV.            Don’t be attached to results

3.     Rotary International’s four-way test for integrity

                                                       I.            Is it the truth?

                                                    II.            Is it fair to all concerned?

                                                  III.            Will it build good will and better friendships?

                                                 IV.            Will it be beneficial to all concerned? 

 

Example: Former CEO Leonard Roberts at Arby’s, Shoney’s and Tandy Corp.

               

Coaches need many ways of asking clients to consider the alignment of their actions with their goals and visions because of the importance of integrity to coaching.

 

Exercise 12.1 – Personal journal questions

 

Exercise12.2 – The impact of loose ends

 

Impact of loose ends. Many coaches and coaching articles describe the importance of eliminating clutter and tying up loose ends in our lives because they are a distraction and energy drainer.

 

1.     How to achieve fulfillment

                                I.            The past—by getting over it, letting it go, honoring its lessons or handling what needs to be handled

                             II.            People—by having courageous conversations

                           III.            Projects—by finishing them, closing them down, or setting dates for completion

                          IV.            Home—by achieving closure on where and how they want to live, by taking action or letting it go (no pining or whining)

                             V.            Work—by finishing the essential

 

2.     How to address incompletion issues

                                I.            Plan for it

                             II.            Let it go

                           III.            Get busy and complete now

                          IV.            Create and set up a system so that you can prevent issues

 

Setting personal standards. 

1.     A standard is a criterion by which something is judged by its behaviors, worth or merit.

·        Merriam-Webster dictionary is a book of standard reference for common language

·        The gold standard is basically accepted to measure economic stability

     2. Personal standards are principles we choose to live by--the rules we set for
         ourselves that we choose to obey

     3. The higher the standards we set, the values and risks become higher as well

·        The case of Diane who work a lot of coaching and consulting organizations

 

Life is in the details

1.     Simple, small activities in your daily life can help with other aspects

·        Someone who maintains a neat closet is likely to be well organized at work

·        Someone who exercises regularly is likely to pay attention to what he/she eats

2.     Small choices add up to big results

 

Making and keeping promises

 

1.     Our commitments and habits help us identify how we live our values. What we say to others define our core values.

2.     Our words and behaviors must be aligned for us to have integrity.

 

How to help clients to make commitments and maintain integrity

 

1.     When you make promises, make them challenging and realistic

2.     When you break the promise, use it as a learning opportunity. Avoid punishing yourself unnecessarily. Examine the intentions behind the broken promises. By breaking promises, you can benefit from making amends-through apologies, conversations, or other act of contrition.

3.     When others break promises to you, help them recognize the learning opportunity.

4.     Before you commit, explore the consequences of making and keeping the promises you are considering.

5.     Fernando Flores’s Cycle of Promise--communicate clearly and allow clear and honest renegotiation when any breakdown occurs.

6.     When you make a commitment, write it down so you can remember it. This can help you develop a new system of habits.

7.     Big promises in our lives, such as marriage or bar mitzvahs, are usually accompanied by a ceremony or ritual. Developing a ceremony or ritual for a big promise may be honorable.

 

Summary

 

·        People who promise or who receive other’s promises can expect breakdowns. This is part of life. How we handle them is the measure of who we are.

·        When we experience a breakdown, talk to others early on, perhaps even when we anticipate the breakdown. This allows for renegotiation and get back on track.

·        This chapter has focused on how integrity emerges from the alignment between what we say and what we do.

·        Coach’s work is to help clients connect head and heart which are the longest distance we ever go is the 12 inches between our head and heart.


 
 
 
 
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